Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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