and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
