Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
