I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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