Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
