When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dick very happy bro
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
