Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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