You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
