Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
