Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
