I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
