am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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