remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
