If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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