Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
