i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
