Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
