Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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