I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize