i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
