Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
