Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
