I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
