You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
