Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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