so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
