Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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