so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
