the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
