sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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