my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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