Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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