U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think a kid would responsible me up
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
