I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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