We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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