I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
