We're facebook friends in real life
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
