what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
