WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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