The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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