$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
