He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
