i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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