My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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