Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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