if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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