i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
