Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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