Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
