So drunk its hurt
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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